It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
