When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
