ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
