how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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