We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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