matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
