The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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