If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
