I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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