Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
