I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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