but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
