I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize