FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
