My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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