if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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