dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
