just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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