just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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