I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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