I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
