Who wears a wallet chain?!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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