either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
