dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
