even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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