If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
