lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize