is your mom at the bar?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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