She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Randomize