yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
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Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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