Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
