Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
