If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
