I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
