My room smells like vodka and shame
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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