I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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