It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
