How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
