Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
