You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
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He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
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I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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