Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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