I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I need to calm my uterus...
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