I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you had me at cake vodka
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
