Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
We smell like vodka and hangover
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