Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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