just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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