Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
