I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
