and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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