I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
