if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
