I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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