question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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