You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
