I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
