Soap is not a condiment
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
