two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
