My first STD was from a foam party
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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