mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?