dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..