It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.