Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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