Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
